So, since we last talked (which I realize now was not “just 2 weeks ago”) I’ve done quite a few things.
First off, I got a tattoo!!
I’ve wanted to get one for a while, just to become a certified Richmond-er / VCU student. So I figured I should get one that had some meaning. The design and handwriting are my own, a picture of a mountain with the word ‘steadfast’ under it. I chose the mountain (partially because the one I almost got on impulse was a mountain but) because I like a lot of the things a mountain represents. The up’s and down’s of life, a reminder to keep pushing because getting to the top of the mountain is the hardest part. Mountains are also immovable, like the word says, steadfast. A reminder to myself of something I want to be. I want to stop talking myself out of – or into – situations, overthinking, getting in my head. A reminder to be steadfast in my decisions, and to make my decisions for myself. My friend Crystian and I went last Saturday (St. Pat’s Tats!!) and both got tattoos. She got one of her mom’s handwriting saying “I love you!” so we both got little reminders.
I also got a haircut! Which may not seem like a big thing but I went with something a little different than I normally do. And I say little because It’s basically the same haircut but she put a little more ‘texture’ on top instead of just a trim. What ‘texture’ means in regards to hair, I do not know. She also put an entire mountain of product in it, but I liked the way it looked, and am considering keeping that practice when I style it now. Now that third winter is over and the sun is existent in our everyday lives again, I’m ready for the freshness of spring.
Another thing I’ve started doing is exploring the idea of “Shadow Work”.
Shadow Work is the idea of taking a look at your ‘shadow’, the “psychological term for everything we can’t see in ourselves.” I feel like I’ve been in kind of an emotional slump lately, anxious and worried about things, and some days, just depressed. A lot of that can definitely be attributed to college, especially the stress. But I think it might also have to do with me, I think putting so much pressure on myself to find out who I am has kind of backfired and made me spiral a little. Examining my ‘shadow’ and some of the things I don’t necessarily like thinking about or acknowledging, and taking steps to fix or even just be okay with them seems like a good step, a necessary step to be truly happy with me. While it’s been described as a sort of arduous and painful process, I’m excited about it. I’m ready to feel radiant again. If you’d like to know more about shadow work, and are interested in it yourself, you can click here!
“Stop being afraid of what could go wrong,
and start being excited about what could go right.”